By Stephanie Abbajay

I love my cell phone. I love the Internet. I love technology. But I am growing increasingly cranky, curmudgeonly even, about the crazy overuse of it. I am, to coin a phrase, tech’d off, because that which is supposed to connect us and make our lives easier has, in many ways, made the quality of our lives much worse. The ability to connect at will and on demand has made us disconnected, self absorbed and, quite frankly, rude.

Cases in point: Last week I was almost run off the River Road into the icy waters of the Mississippi by a woman in a purple van who was texting and driving at the same time. She was utterly clueless, as she swerved and weaved repeatedly into my lane. My horn is broken so I could only glare at her with righteous indignity as I righted my car and sped past her. But she never even looked up.

Yesterday, I was almost t-boned by a young blond as she sailed through the intersection of County Road and 67, blithely ignorant of the red light as she chatted away on her cell phone. Again, no horn, so after slamming on my brakes just in time, the other drivers and I exchanged meaningful, exasperated glances as she merrily went on her way, clueless to the accident she had almost caused.

Two weeks ago, a woman in Kettering, Ohio was cited for child endangerment when she was seen driving her car, talking on her cell phone and breast feeding her baby, all at the same time. That’s not multitasking, that’s insanity. She pled not guilty, telling the court that she just couldn’t let her baby go hungry. Presumably, she also just couldn’t hang up the phone, pull over and nurse in safety.

Last Saturday, a woman on the elliptical machine behind me at the Wellness Center talked on her phone for 45 minutes while working out. We who were without our iPods had little choice but to listen, appalled yet riveted, to her inane conversation. There was no escape. (And everybody talks louder on their cell phone.)

These incidents have happened to all of us by now. We all share the road, the restaurant, the elevator, the lobby, the movie theater, the waiting room, the gym and all manner of public spaces with those who chat or text away, blithely ignorant to their fellow man. While some incidents are dangerous, some maddening, and some merely rude, they have all share the same underlying cause: self absorption.

People think that they have to be connected at all times. It is no longer enough to do just one thing, like drive, eat lunch with friends, work out, travel, shop. Now, people have to be able to be reached and to reach others, whenever they want. It’s narcissistic. It says, I am more important than those around me. Is that text or cell phone call you are answering at the table or while behind the wheel or on the treadmill really that important? Here comes the curmudgeon in me: I remember back when only doctors had pagers. If you were in a movie theater and a pager went off, you were impressed: “My God, that person must be a brain surgeon! He must be needed for an emergency!” Now, when a phone goes off (with some incredibly annoying ringtone), you hear, “Hey man, what’s up? No, I’m not doing anything.” Except annoying the people next to you trying to enjoy the movie.

Depending on your age group, I guarantee that you have not had a lunch out with friends when at least half of them haven’t sent or received texts or cell phone calls from the table. And it isn’t just the kids; my friends are 30- and 40-somethings and they are bad as teenagers.

Call me old-fashioned, but I am embarrassed to take a cell phone call while in a restaurant or any other public space and am offended when my friends do it when they are with me. I have tried mightily not to talk on my phone while driving, though very often I fall into the trap of thinking, “Well, I might as well make the best use of this time and make some phone calls.” How on earth did it come to pass that talking on a cell phone became a better use of one’s time than actually paying attention to the incredibly important task of driving a vehicle? It’s madness.

Ironically, all of our technology offers a weird and somewhat sad dichotomy. We cling to this preening sense of connection, via cell phones, text messaging, Twitter, Facebook, etc., when in fact we are actually completely disconnected from each other. We are ignoring the people we are with, the activity we are engaged in, the community around us, to connect instead to a virtual world. In so doing, we give precedence to the virtual over the real. We have made it more important than the friends we dine with, the children we live with, the drivers in the next car, the patrons in the next seat, the colleague at the next desk or the neighbor next door.

And that is sad. I am not suggesting we unplug, only that we consider the real world first and perhaps be a bit more judicious with how and when we use our technology.

Stephanie Abbajay is a columnist for the Jersey County Journal. Visit her web site at stephanieabajay.com.